Depressipes

THE STUPID STORY BIT Back when Uncle Phineas McGillicuddy worked the mines down in Shivneck, Kentucky, he gave me a bag of chips from the company store. Said they cost him 'several scrip,' whatever that meant, and he demanded I eat all of them while he watched lest I be outed as some kind of ingrate. When I opened the bag, a chip flew out and fell on the company hardwood floor of the company house. It broke in half, and I ate both pieces, because Uncle Phineas had a way of staring you down that made you wish he'd stop doing that, and given my absence of Natty Lite, the fastest way to get him to leave me alone was to eat the chips. They were delicious. Tasted like salt and adherence to the five-second rule. But more importantly I learned something that day - the Somewhat Infinite Chip Hack. THE RECIPE BIT   "My... my craft. What have you done to my craft , ya donkeh?"   THE BIT WHERE I BUG YOU FOR A TIP OR SOMETHING Honestly we can use all the help we can get. I j...